love and marriageTHE LIGHTER SIDE OF MARRIAGE
1. Marriage is not a word it is a sentence (life sentence)
2. Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the string attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution where a man loses his Bachelor’s degree while the woman gets her master.
5. Marriage is a thing which put a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.
6. Marriage certificate is another word for a work permit.
7. Marriage require a man to prepare 4 type of “RING”; Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffe-ring, Endu-ring
8. Married life is full of excitement and frustration, it the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year they both speaks and the neighbors listen.
9. It is true that love is blind, but definitely marriage is an eye opener.
10. Getting marriage is like going to the restaurants with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
11. It’s true that all men born free and equal. But some of them get MARRIAGE.
12. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking. The husband gives and the wife takes.
13. Love is one long sweet dreams. And marriage is the alarm clock
14. They say that when a man hold a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love. After marriages it is self-defense.
15. When a newly marriage man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Son: How much it cost to get married, Dad?
Dad: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: Is it true dad? That in Ancient China a man doest know his wife until he marries?
Dad: That happens everywhere son, everywhere.
Wife: Honey, what is you really like from me, my natural beauty or my sexy body?
Husband: Your sense of Humor.
MARRIAGES/WEDDING TRIVIA:
Wedding – Cynics who claim that marriage is a gamble can point to the fact that “ to wed” meant “ to “wager.” In old English , WEDDIAN mean to commit money in a bet or yourself in marriage.
KASAL – Tagalog corruption of the Spanish CASAR, meaning “to marry” or to “match.”
The wedding veil was created by the ancient Greek and Romans to protect the bride from the evil eye of rejected suitor.
June marriages was rooted in Roman superstition and mythology. June was named in honor of Juno, wife of Jupiter, Chief of the Roman Gods. Juno was not only the guardian of the female sex, but also the patroness of happy marriages.
Q: Why is wedding ring traditionally place on the third finger of the bride’s left hand?
A: The custom dates to the ancient Egyptian who believed this finger carried a vein leading directly to the heart. Writer later gave it the name VENA AMORIS , or love vein.
Forbidden Love: Members of the Indian tribe known as Saival are forbidden to marry anyone who cannot prove his or her ancestors have been vegetarians for over four thousand years.
She married 14 women – On October 7, 1946, Mary Hamilton went on trial in London on a charge of aggravated polygamy. She disguised herself as a man, then went on to marry 14 women in seven years.
The Most Legally Married Person in the World – is former Baptist minister Glynn Scotty Wolfe of Blythe, California. He first married in 1927 at age 19 and went on to exchange “I Do’s” with 26 other women.
P.S. I LOVE YOU – A young Taiwanese man wrote some 700 letters to his girlfriend from 1974-to-1976, trying to persuade her to marry him. His persistence finally brought results. The United Press reported that the girl had become engaged – to the postman who faithfully delivered all the letters.
Among the head-hunting Ilongots on Nueva Viscaya, un upcoming father –in-law was expected to gift his future daughter in law with a stock of knives and spears. For the husband to be, the best present he could possibly offer to his bride was a freshly cut human head.
Bingo Word: UXORIOUS – extremely devoted to or fond of one’s wife.
Q & A:
Q: What is the future tense of marry?
A: Divorce
Q: What is the similarity of jail and marriage?
A: Both are institutions from w/c it is difficult to escape.
Q: What is the similarity between an old maid and a jealous wife/
A: They always looking for a husband.
Q: What kind of people see flying saucers?
A: Husband with furious wife.
Q: What is the chief cause of divorce and legal separation?
A: Marriage
Q: What is the best promise a man can give to the other woman?
A: Till wife do us part.
Q: What is the best way to be a good wife ?
A: Be a lady in the living room, A chef in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.
Q: What is the oldest joke in the world?
A: When Eve asked Adam. “Do you love me?” and Adam answered, “Who else?”
MARRIAGE – is the only life sentence that is suspended by bad behavior.
BIGAMY – A man with a two sets of mother in law.
MONOTOMY - defined as marriage to one woman at a time.
"Gandhi never wore brief, because he loved freedom of movement.
Gandhi never carried a gun because he abhorred violence.
Gandhi never made love with a virgins because he hated bloodshed."
